Welcome to the best event of the year!

Dear family and friends,

Yes, that time of the year is here again. That time when everybody waits excited for this announcement as if they were waiting for Santa Claus.

And them, when least expected, it arrives: my birthday gift list!

Of course, the list by itself would create confusion amongst the most mentally impaired and unfortunate minded, so I always add the so well known set of rules.

This year, like every other one, the rules are here to be followed and imposed vigorously. It is my duty as the receiver of such gifts, to be sure you follow the rules and it’s your duty, as the giver of such gifts, to follow every single rule in order to stay away from the infamous birthday black list. Those of you that have been victimized by the list, know well how humiliating and embarrassing can be, so please, be kind to others and help me keep them in line.

In case you haven’t been informed yet, I will be 36 years old, which makes this birthday particularly special. I am ecstatic to let you know that it’s the first time in my life that I will be 36 years old.  Most important yet, it’s also the last time, which makes even more special, allowing me to be a tiny bit extra picky with the gift list and rules.

Let’s get to the point and to what matters, the rules and demands:

1.       No gift should cost less than $36.00 (thirty six US dollars), as I will be turning 36 years, and every year the gift price should be of the same amount as my age or higher;

2.       The cost of the gift, $36.00, should not include sales tax, as it varies from state to state and from country to country;

3.       Any gift card should also be valued at $36.00 or higher;

4.       It’s never too late to give your gift, my birthday is celebrated for weeks after the actual date;

5.       If you can’t attend to the party it’s not my fault and I shouldn’t be punished on the most important day of my life, so yes, you have to mail the gift. The mailing address is listed at the end of this page and on the website;

6.       I do lots of online research and shopping so I know prices, please, don’t try to fool me with a $10.00 pair of glove, I will know it, I always do;

7.       Brands are very important and necessary, if the list has a Jimmy Choo sandal and you give me a look alike from Payless, you go to the black list as the look alike from Payless cheap gift giver;

8.       And no, last year’s model on sale of whatever, still last year’s model and it’s not acceptable (this is quite important for those of you thinking on giving me sport cars or motorcycles, mostly);

9.       Orange IT’S NOT the new pink! So please, don’t try to scam me with fashion fauxs;

10.   Items that can be used in my household, or by my animals, or my significant other, or friends, are welcome if accompanied by an exclusive gift for me and only me nothing but me, so help me God;

11.   Anything that dies on a short period of time, (i.e.: flowers, food = goes to the toilet) are welcome accompanied by another exclusive gift as well;

12.   Animals take longer to die, generally, and are always welcome as  gifts, but since they can be enjoyed by many, an exclusive gift must be presented with the animal during the party, in this particular case, flowers and food will be accepted;

13.   No matter what anyone says: there is no such thing as too many shoes, too many sunglasses or too many animals!

14.   If you choose to give me a gift from an adult store, please ask me first for a detailed list of what I already have, so you can get something new and different, or you can opt for a gift card from the store;

15.   Birthday cards alone will not be accepted as gift even if you tell me it costs $36.00, if you are adding a birthday card to my gift, please do not deduct the cost of the price or packing for that matter from the gift itself;

16.   Expensive beauty related brands (i.e.: Chanel, Prada, Gucci, Christian Louboutin) are very appreciated;

17.   Gift cards from expensive beauty related brands (please refer to rule number 14) should be of equal or higher value of $50.00 (Fifty US dollars);

I encourage you to print this list, several sets of it, and keep them where you can easily see daily as a reminder.  Keep one in your fridge door, one in your car, one in your office, by your night stand and even on your cell phone or  PDA as a quick reference guide, just in case you’re at the mall doing some shopping. The gift list and the set of rules makes for a great bathroom reading material, so don’t be shy, use it as an inspirational tool for constipation or to get rid of your anger for me!

Gifts that are not on the list are always welcome as long as they are either very expensive or much need indeed. Most of you know me well enough to know that I pretty much need everything. And for those who don’t know me so well, then just follow the rules and quit complaining, that's my job! :-)

If you choose to make a donation to a charitable organization you will be released of your gift giving obligation. Please bring me a copy of the donation receipt so I know you are not pulling my leg. Below is a list of some organizations for your reference. Feel free to donate to any other organization you might know, and remember that you will be helping not only someone in need or a great research center or cause, but you can also use your donation for tax purposes. Charitable donations are just like regular gifts, so if you donate this year that does not release you from next year gift duty.

        www.hsus.org  (Humane Society of the Unite States)                        

        www.aspca.org  (The American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals)

        www.inca.gov.br (Brazilian National Cancer Institute)

        www.abcf.org (American Breast Cancer Foundation)

        www.cancer.org (American Cancer Society)

        www.diabetesresearch.org (Diabetes Research Institute Foundation)

        www.unicef.org (The United Nations Children's Fund)

       www.one.org (organization committed to the fight against extreme poverty and preventable diseases, particularly in Africa)

You are welcome to invite anyone you know for the party and to give them the list and the rules as they should be followed by everybody. Strangers are welcome to come as well, they also should follow the rules and give me gifts, so feel free to pass along the list to anyone, even those you don’t know (i.e.: grocery store clerk, Laundromat attendant; manicure, Hugh Jackman).

And let’s keep in mind that to use the economical situation of the country or your small pay check, or even the proximity of Christmas is not a good excuse. You don’t need to keep all that change getting dust on the jar nor in your car dash board and you can definitely skip the Starbucks Coffee a few mornings a week. If you start saving now, 36 days in advance, just $1.20 a day, by the time of my birthday all you have to do is to go shopping!

As we do every year, those who give the best gifts will be praised and will have their names e-mailed to everybody and they will be pampered by my loving words and sweet talking. But in the other hand, if you don’t give me anything or re-gift me that creepy sweater with a reindeer on it that you got last year on the office’s secret Santa, then you will be humiliated on a very public e-mail. Please, think twice before breaking those important rules! They are only here to help you be a better friend so I don’t have to pretend I liked something you give me that I will eventually re-gift myself!

Remember to join my Facebook group: “Countdown to Rebeca’s Birthday” so you can stay up to date with every detail of this amazing event.  And don’t worry about forgetting the date; I will be sure to remind you often and always! :-)

Thank you and see you at the party!

Rebeca

Mailing Address for Gifts, Gift Cards and Money!

Rebeca Butnariu

5316 Raintree Circle

Oakwood, GA 30566